How Do You Work With Someone You Hate?

JobNow Contributor
March 26, 2021



Workplace issues are nothing new; an astounding 85% of people are unhappy at their job. The point of a job is to make money, but most of us would love to enjoy our time at work. Instead of being miserable every day, move towards finding a solution, whether within yourself or between the two of you. Do you want to know how you can learn to work with someone that you hate? Keep reading to find out what you need to know.


How to Work With Someone You Hate

"I hate my coworker." Have you found yourself saying that when you get home from work? You are not the first person in history to have workplace issues, and you won't be the last. Even if you get along with most people, the complex work environment can be tricky to navigate sometimes. There are a lot of personalities that have to come together for a common cause of the company. But, if there are personality clashes within the workplace, it can affect others around you and their productivity. 


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Make a Choice

Are you there to make friends, or are you there to make money and get experience? If you are there for the social aspect of being around others and enjoying their company while making money, you will have to figure out a way to make peace with your enemies. If you are just there to make a paycheck, it's time to change your attitude and view about the person you dislike. 


Check Your Attitude at The Door

When you walk into the workplace, leave your attitude and personal feelings at the door. This may sound easier than done, but after you practice it a few times, you should be able to master it. A positive attitude at work can make all the difference in handling another person and their negativity.


Just Stay in Your Lane 

Simply put, mind your own business. Clock in, do your work, clock out, and go home. Don't get involved in other people's business or drama at work. Staying in your lane means putting your head down and worrying about your task at hand instead of worrying about everyone else around you.


Do "The Work"

If you are not familiar with Byron Katie, it's time to get acquainted with her. This well-known author published a self-help series called "The Work," She breaks down stressful situations into a meditative process. This allows you to see the other person in a new light and find the answers within yourself. You will fill out a worksheet to answer questions about yourself, the other person, and the situation. Then, it will ask you who or what upset you and why. This process can be done once or several times until it becomes second nature to understand how to take control of the moment instead of getting upset or being angry at work.


Find Common Ground

This may be the last thing you want to hear right now, but the two of you may have something in common that you can use to get past the negativity. Having something in common with another person especially connects you and encourages you to stop saying, "I hate my coworker."


Find Your Happy Place

Meditation before or during work can help lower your blood pressure and centre your attention and mood to a place that feels more peaceful. Come up with a calming mantra that you can recite when you begin to feel angry, anxious, or overwhelmed with their presence/personality. Try something like, "you can not change another person; you can only have control over how you respond". Breathwork can be a helpful tool in calming yourself down in the heat of the moment or before the anger rises. A simple thing you can do with your hands to find your happy place is called hand mudras. It involves lightly touching your index finger to your thumb. This will increase your mental awareness instead of letting your emotions control you.


Don't Take Anything Personally 

Do you dislike this person because of the way that they treat you? If you decide not to take it personally, you may feel a lot different about the situation. Some people act a certain way because of issues they have with themselves, but they project those feelings onto others.


Change Your Shift

If you can't make things better between the two of you while in the office together, see if you can get put on a different shift. Changing your shift to the opposite of theirs will mean that you can altogether avoid contact with them. It may feel like you are taking the easy way out, but it solves the problem.


Suggest a Company-Wide Peace Movement

If your circumstance is not the first personality clash in the workplace, perhaps you could suggest a company-wide team building/moral boosting movement. Whether you bring in a professional to assist with employee communication or make it an internal project, putting time and effort into the situation could help in the present and future.


Ask Your Boss to Mediate

Using a third party who has a neutral position, such as a coworker who likes both of you, as the negotiator, could help you both to talk out your dispute and find a way to get over it. Another person gives the situation an elevated feeling that makes it easy to see you both need to get past this, be happy at work, and succeed.


Move on From Workplace Issues

When all else fails and can not make it work, maybe it is time to move on. There is no shame in realizing that you have exhausted the possibilities of getting along or making a significant change in your workplace. No one wants to be miserable at a place where they have to spend numerous hours per day, and getting over this lousy relationship can help you (and everyone else) feel better.